To communicate assertively or aggressively

Certain people rule the roost at work with their assertive communication. The submissive ones are contented with every little chance they get to speak. If you are submissive and often feel helpless and cannot represent yourself strongly while communicating, it is necessary for you to re-evaluate your communication style. Your communication style will certainly belong to one of the four common types. You are aggressive where you win and make everyone else lose. You are passive when everyone else wins. The assertive attitude represents a win-win situation. Your communication style automatically becomes effective when other's needs are also met. Most people who are passive blame it on their lack of confidence to confront people. You need to understand that it is like the story of "chicken and egg." Your confidence levels will be boosted only when you become more assertive; yet you need to be confident to try to be assertive in the first place. Here are some steps through which you can make it happen.

1. Make the right move at the right time. Depending on the situation, you should choose between being passive, aggressive, or assertive. If you lack the confidence to deal with a coworker or manager for the first time, you can simulate these situations in a comfortable place and practice regularly until you master the right style.

2. Take charge of the situation by retrieving your positive image. Imagine that things are well under your control and project a positive image about yourself. Recollect the moments in your life when you have excelled and recapture the moments to gain control of yourself and obtain a positive image. Recall the powerful image of the successful you when you are disheartened. This technique keeps you back on track and boosts your confidence level to a great extent.

3. Project the retrieved positive impression. Take responsibility for your communication while creating a positive impression. Put across your views in a polite manner and let others take note of you. Non-verbal communication signals also play a significant role in creating better impressions. Make the best use of the words "I" and “we” while addressing people. With a right mix of non-verbal communication cues, you can easily create a positive impression.

4. Interlace your message with facts. You cannot drive home any point through mere positive interaction. Prepare well and gather all the required facts and present them politely. If you don’t have the sufficient time or if all the facts are not readily available, try to recollect and list out similar situations. Thus, you get an edge in the true sense.

5. Apt body language is a must. Look straight into the eyes when you speak to someone and expect positive interaction. Listen attentively, actively and put yourself in the shoes and seek a solution that benefits both. Try to get detailed answers from others rather than single words such as "yes" and "no." This will facilitate an easy solution within a short period of time. Prepare open questions even before you are ready for the interaction.

Assertive people can interact effectively with people of different styles of communication. Even though aggressive communicators need confronting, take some time to gather thoughts that allows even the other person to calm down. In most of the situations, choose to respond, not react. However, remember the fact that you have the right to speak up and be heard.